My Birthday

Umemployment and Vacation

Mike and I have been spending 24-7 together for the last few weeks. He got laid-off and we are both getting a little freaked out by the news. It has been a real test for our relationship to have that much together time. It sometimes feels like we are marooned on an island. But its going pretty well, we have a routine and I am keeping myself busy. I am really freaked out about the possibility of going on strike in January. Sigh...who is going to bail us out?

What is wrong with people?

If I was to ask anyone, " Is it okay to tell person A they can't do B but Person C can do B?" Everyone would agree its wrong and unfair. But yesterday Prop 8 was passed. So among the cheers for the new generation of hope through President Obama, gay couples will not be allowed to marry. It is with deep regret that the very people who claim the compassion of Jesus' love would spend their money and time to promote hate. Why didn't people focus on what God wrote about the most: love and compassion. I have no other words to express my sadness.

I'm so vain I think this song is about me

So this Sunday I dragged Mike out to Riverside to do something called Trash the Dress. Theoretically its suppose to be after the wedding to do fun pictures and "trash" your dress. But thanks to Sally I have a random free dress I got from Craigslist. Lets say I have never worn so much make up in my life! To my chagrin, I was told more than a few times I looked like a china doll..sigh...

Here are some of them courtesy of Conrad Lim Photography:


Next one is my favorite, it really represents our relationship: hilarity, fun, and a little bit awkward.








So this one I just got from Erin T Photography. Is this my normal face? No wonder I get voted most
unapproachable.

Wedding Wardrobe

I just realized I have to get wedges for my garden wedding. I hate wedges, I think of cheap massage parlors that have "nice oriental ladies" who can offer happy endings. But i did find one that looks pretty nice, but of course its Betsy Johnson and its about $150

Images found shoewawa

On the other hand, I am trying to convince myself that Forever21 has corrected their sweatshop issues and I can get these cute dresses for my bridesmaids. I think this would be cute with a light pink wrap or not.



You want to know what is the best part? Its $22.80...sigh...Fair Trade, Smare Trade...


Target (or Taar Geeet) 39.99 Lace match the lace on my dress?

Pictures do tell a thousand words

How in the world?


He always tries his best to make me laugh.


This is where we had our first hellos, in 1994.

Second guessing the whole wedding thing

This week was the most depressing morning commute to work. My morning drive has been inundated with news of bank failures. It just makes me want to run and hide all my cash in my mattress (it would all fit in a child's twin maybe even a baby mattress) . When I was listening to the interviews of suddenly unemployed Lehman Brother workers, I had a complete panic attack. I called Mike and told him we should cancel the wedding. In times like these should we be spending $20,000 plus on one day? I was having visions of growing vegetables in my garden, and preparing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for work. Then my wonderful friend Mark sent me a teaser of our engagement pictures. It made me calm down a little and get a little more excited about getting married. What are other people doing to keep from going crazy in these financial uncertainties? I think we are in the mode of denial, denial and more denial.



This is how we look at each all the time as we exchange love poems.
In reality this is what is happening: Mike, "What do you want to eat ? " Me, "I don't know, how about carne asade fries?"

We are Family

What do these two min pin mix have in common?

You guess it? Welcome Mei Mei, the newest member of our family. Don't they look like long lost twins? Minus the floppy ears and uh about 7 extra lbs on Max.

It doesn't hurt to ask

I have been reading wedding blogs like they were going to give me a definitive answer to some universal question of life and death. When in reality they are mostly about all these details and ideas that would overwhelm Martha Stewart. I came across this photographer who gave away free photography every year to couples on a budget. Sadly, I missed that deadline because we clearly qualify on the budget issue. So I sent him a quick email and asked a bold question about meeting our budget and he actually said yes. Now, I am not sure if this is true for most people, maybe its the Chinese bargaining powers and suspicion in both of us but we immediately thought, "What is wrong with this guy? It seems too good to be true! " So after some careful questions and great responses, we realized he is just giving us a great deal. It is totally serendipity (get it: ? wink wink... refer to our wedding website/theme) He donates a large part of his commission to homeless shelters in Chicago. If that doesn't just turn my social justice heart, I am not sure what will. And to top it off, he speaks mandarin. So drum roll please....
Chennergy Photography.
Here is a sneak peak of his work, hopefully I am not breaking any copyright stuff...

A Little Uncomfortable

Not sure what it is about but I am feeling kind of shy talking about the wedding. I know, its a freakin miracle that Maria Chan is at lost for words. I haven't really figured out why or what I am feeling these days. I am thrilled to be marrying my better half but something feels strange talking about the wedding. Part of me feels a little embarrassed, hell maybe its something weird genetic Chinese thing where I feel like I am imposing my will on someone else. I will have to sit on the toilet and think about this dilemma.

I am pretty stoked to be taking engagement pictures this Sunday. I am not sure why people take them, but its one of those go with the flow moments. I know, I should probably be a little more reflective but hey when does a girl get to pretend she is a model. Well I wonder what type of model I could be: super, runway, catalog, import car? hahahaha I don't want to know the answer.

Ball Park and Food

Just spent a week in NYC enjoying the city life and remembering how great it is not to drive.

Proof that I really love Mike


We spent 4 hours sweatin' bullets so we can watch the Yankees beat the Oakland As. I actually stayed awake...Then he repaid me by telling me that my shorts made me look short and wide.


This is our walk in the park shot:

Restaurant Week NYC Summer 2008 Tabla: American food with Indian Flair (hahaha what ever that means)

hmmm....not sure how this will help my attempt to lose weight for the rental dress. Oh well it was delicious!

New York Subway

I'm enjoying myself back in the Upper Westside in NYC. Today I was on the 1 train at 11pm, the guy next to me strikes up a conversation about my engagement. Hey I guess it comes with the territory, you wear an engagement ring everyone asks when you are getting married. Trying not to make too much eye contact, I have polite conversation. He precedes to tell me his best friend just got married and they were dating for five years. So its better if I script this right now:

the guy: They met in hs and got married after college.
Me: Oh that is kind of young to be married?
the guy's friend on my otherside: Not for Americans (with a slight attitude)
Me: (thinking "I hope asshole you are not thinking that I am not American." I smile because I think everything is racial) well for NYC that is really young.
the guy: Oh aren't you young for getting married.
Me: No I am 31
the guy: You Asians are so lucky...(awkward silence)
the guy:I've been to Asia and when I start talking to a woman I think she is my age 22, she turns out to be 35
Me:(I'm thinking "Because 35 is really old") oh where are you guys visiting from? ( I take a good look and no self respecting New Yorker would wear Tevas)
the guy's friend: Springfield, Missouri

This is dedicated to Tonya...I got the confirmation on a NYC train that all Missourians are married and have three kids by 30.

Short Lived Unemployment

So what might you ask have I been doing with my time for the last month and a half? I have been sleeping in and going hiking almost everyday. I forget how great not working can be on your soul. After breakfast, a hike, lunch and a shower my day is pretty much filled. Granted things that take normal people 20 minutes become something I have to schedule about three days in advance. My friend happened to have a day off and wanted to have lunch. I told her I was too busy because I had to go to the bank. Despite this great lifestyle (minus the income) I am now officially a LAUSD teacher. I am starting a new school year on July 1st. I finally got my contract and its been like re-enactment of Dante's Hell. I mean really if I have to go between the 14th and 15th floor of Beaudry one more time, I will have to stab myself in the eye. I am not sure what is in that building besides paperwork but I think there is less security at the Federal Reserve. Prior to signing it my days have been flip flopping between complete relaxation and nail biting anxiety about having to live in my car because I can't pay my bills.

Just to add to my obsession with Max, here are some pictures of our hikes.

Dog Beach with mi familia

Blob of ivory coming down the aisle

I went shopping in Pasadena with my sister and best friend. Okay well it wasn't shopping as much as browsing for ideas because I can't/won't pay the average price of 2gs on a dress. I am planning to rent. More on that later, just a preview...have to go on a diet because I am most rental shop's largest size and its tight!
It was completely overwhelming but a great consultant help me dig through the mass of ivory fabrics. I was able to narrow it to five dresses that "caught my eye" and I really loved the way two of them looked on me. The two favorite are (drum roll please...) $3980 and $6870 American Dollars! Trying to not show my facial twitch from the price, I tried on a veil. Until that moment I felt like I was pretending to be a future bride but bam! it was like the moment every bridal magazine talks about and it was completely cheesy. Then I happen to glance at the price tag on the veil that cost $800! I was in full sticker shock and that brought me back to reality on why we are getting married and it has nothing to do with overpriced wedding attire.

The Wedding Gods are looking on us

Serendipity is the word of our relationship; from how we met, are re-encounter, and the amazing compatibility of two people who seem so different on the surface. So today was another great alignment of the stars; we booked our ceremony site and I got a kick ass wedding organizer from one of the many wedding blogs that I troll everyday. Its called Brooklyn Bride and if you look at today's posting about Russell + Hazel Winners you will find my entry. Okay it may seem that I am little enthusiastic but come on when is the last time you won something worth $75 dollars? May the planning seriously begin...

Oh Save The Date: We are becoming official on April 11, 2009. A better STD (not the contagious kind :P ) email and cards to come...

My First DIY

I followed the instructions from Deep Fried Kudzu.
The only thing I changed was using a fishing line to tie it because that was all I had in the house. For $2.19 I can make three of these pom poms. I am sure if I start digging in 99 cents stores I should find better deals. Not bad for 10 minutes of my time.

Three Years and Counting...

Mike and I have been together for three years! Its really been that long? We were going to skip on Save the Date Cards until we found this cool toy from Hockneyzier:

Are there shortages of marriages?

I always wonder why people make such a big deal about everyone getting the chance to marry. First, that institution of marriage is not that successful for us, heteros. Second, did someone forget to tell me that there is a shortage of marriage licenses? Is that why all these straights have to horde it for the second coming?
I have friends who chose not to get married (male/female relationship) because they wanted to take a stand against the inequality. I really admire them for that. I have to admit that deep in my bones I still have the little girl desire to have a fairytale wedding.
Planning for this wedding has been a reminder of how much everything is about consumption. IF anything the wedding industry should be jumping for joy because now there are even more people to spend thousands of dollars for floral arrangements. Well on June 14, 2008 this can finally happen in California.

Officially Laid Off

For the first time since I was 15 1/2 years old, I am unemployed. Yup, UCLA lost their contract with LAUSD and I got laid off. Here are some things I learned about unemployment:

1. Should of milked all of my sick and vacation days. Because I lost 148 hours of Sick and 135 hours of vacation time...more mental health days on my next job.
2. Should of used more of my "lunch hour" time because I only get paid a set salary without overtime even though I had to work weekends and holidays (couldn't celebrate Cesar Chavez, so much for si se puede...)
3. Should keep the layoff a secret because people look at you in two ways: "Milk her for all she is worth" or "Poor pathetic, non-union employee"
4. Should of saved more money and realized it before car payments, mortgage, student loans and, oh did I mention we are planning a wedding?!!!?

Carried to the wedding...who wants to volunteer?

I am planning to do a Chinese/Western wedding. My fantasy is to be carried to the beginning of the aisle on a wedding sedan. Sounds crazy but I thought it would be so awesome and fun. The only problem is where in the world would I get this AND who can I convince to carry me! Ha...I am already stressing about loosing weight for the wedding, I am sure if this could possibly happen then my weight lost would be a group effort.

I want to add loads of Chinese traditions but incorporate our personal quirks. The funniest thing was when we were interviewing wedding planners (if they were not Asian) they often told us at the end we were having an Asian themed wedding. Well I guess if you include that we are both Asian I guess it is an Asian theme. It felt a little bit racist, but according to the puppets on Avenue Q, everyone is a little bit racist. Ha...

Canadian Rock

The other day, Mike and I went to look at wedding bands and I still smile at the amazing job he did in picking out the engagement ring. I wasn't expecting a diamond and he respected my wishes and got me a conflict free diamond from Canada. I know that the people who dug this out has fair wages and health insurance. Which is probably more than the kind woman who hands me my coffee at the local donut shop...sheepish grin...

Free Dress

Freakin Sally is addicted to Craigslist. She got me an appointment to pick up a free wedding dress from a dress maker. Yup, you read right, it is a free dress. I know I was totally skeptical too but they do fashion shows and didn't know what to do with all the dresses. I did some sleuth work via the internet to make sure I was not getting set up to be robbed and left for dead. ( I watched one too many CSI shows) Its a cute cocktail style, strapless dress with a simple lace cumberbund. It fits pretty good minus a few pounds but I am not sure what to do with it. I don't think I will wear it for my actual wedding but I thought it would be fun to change into it for pictures? Need some ideas. One idea was to dye the petticoat like a wedding I saw on Style Me Pretty. I will put up a picture soon for some help.

Max is Stressed Out

I would say 60 percent of this blog is about my beloved; Max that is, not Mike...Our little pride and joy had a bout of really bad diarrhea. He woke up at 2am for three nights with severe diarrhea. It was really stressing me out. I even found small spots of what I guess was blood. I did a quick internet search and a frantic phone call to the vet. I gave him rice and hoped for the best. The strangest thing was that the vet guessed that Max was probably stressed and that was causing his diarrhea. What could this pampered dog be possibly stressed about? Well, Mike was gone for a business trip up North. The vet guessed that he might miss Mike so much that it was upsetting his stomach. What? And I was alone dealing with the 2am clean up and soothing. (This is making me question motherhood) Would you believe that this little dog had a regular bowel movement the minute Mike came come. It was basically instant, he had diarrhea for four freakin days and Max saw Mike for 30 minutes and his bowel movements are solid again. Geez...since I walk, bath, feed, play and fawn over this little sucker...he better be comatose when I go away.

My OCD wedding planning

I have become a bridezilla of sorts these days. So after trolling the internet for about 40 hours... we narrowed it down to about four sites. And when we considered our budget and only needing a ceremony place we found two sites.; Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills(left) and the Arcadia Arboretum.(right) Granted it was 90 degrees and it was the last weekend of March when we were venue hunting. I hate to say it but global warming may ruin our wedding day.

I am hiding out in the "asian forest" because its so damn hot.

Spider girl princess

Max's facial express says it all; what the f*ck?...my niece has been talking less about Spiderman and more about her Princess dresses that she likes to twirl and twirl. We attended my cousin's wedding and she was excitedly talking about the "royal ball" I don't want to push my feminist ideals on a 25 lb 3 year old...oh who I am kidding. I totally want to push them on her...
Can you tell she loves dancing in public...even as the wedding is happening around her.

Here comes the bride and her muffin top

Engaged! We gave into the pressures of hetero-normative (I learned that from Randyl). Mike is going to make a honest woman out of me. He proposed to me at our first meeting place 12 years ago at 1 Colorado Courtyard. He got on his knee and (he won't admit this) got choked up. It was really sweet. I think I said something like, "of course" and he told me he loved me and I said, "Thank you"

After all the drama of buying the ring, he bought me a conflict free Canadian diamond. My mother thought the hoopla was lame-ass but Mike wanted to make sure everyone was happy in the situation. The funny thing is the ring is a size too small and when I put it on, I started to lose feeling on my ring finger. Gosh, is that a metaphor for the ball and chain or what? Mike had the graciousness to tell me that my finger has a muffin top
.
This is from one of the 38 weddings we have attended in the last ten years. Yippee its our turn to get gifts! Hahahahahahahahahaha