Imagine seeing over 50 houses and only seeing six that is actually livable. Well that is the real estate market in LA. So here is the ball and chain: my new home. Not wanting to jinx the possibility of falling out of escrow, much like the home we just purchased, we have kept it low key. Yup not only do we now live together in sin, we are going to co habitat with a mortgage in sin. While mentioning this new stage in our lives to family and friends, one reoccurring question came up like a pesky bad breath. " So when are you getting married?" What is with marriage and the ability to calm millions of mothers about the futures of their children? I am trying to figure out if this is the one magic elixir that is going to cure all the issues in my life? Work conflicts, weight, money, commitment, will all magically self destruct. Really married folks, if I am already living in sin, why does buying a house together signify that marriage is the logical next step. Sometimes I wonder if my married friends are trying to lure me into that cult. You know, something about the more the merrier or suffering together is more tolerable?
5 comments:
IMHO, it's a huge leap of faith to marry someone...it's a bigger leap of faith to buy a house together. I believe if anything you need to get married in order to legalize the purchase of the house. Otherwise come up with a separate contract that states in very clear terms who gets what in the chance that you guys break up. Don't let things to chance, as much as you love your partner, you gotta look out for yourself first.
and the question shouldn't be when are you getting married, it should be why aren't you married?
and then cliche phrase comes to mind "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"
respectfully,
clarence
good advice...but are their protocols for having a conversation like that? I mean really, how depressing...JUST IN CASE WE BREAK UP Clause...
nobody ever said buying a house is a romantic thing to do???
There is a strong correlation between length of pre-marriage cohabitation and probability of divorce... in Maria-terms... if you live with someone before marriage, chances are you're going to divorce them.
The reason was spelled out simply in The Economist (sorry, no citation). Basically, if you don't cohabitate, you ask the right questions:
"Do I really love this guy?"
"Can I live with the fact that he takes 5-minutes to tell a 30-second story?"
When you cohabitate, you defer those questions and progress with the relationship because you've bided long enough at this stage of the relationship.
The other thing is that a marriage is more like a business than anything else.
It isn't romantic, but it is more relevant to think, "Cost of goods sold, EBIDTA, or depreciation" than to think, "Sure, stay right there... I'll get you that beer."
Well written article.
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